∞ Pigs dig it ∞

I don't fully understand my luck with pigs. I think I have been very blessed with oinkers in my life. I have had multiple situations in which I could of received a ticket. I am a speed racer with road rage. Apparently pigs dig it. There was one situation I still can't believe. I was leaving AC Lounge with Erny Nunez when Boombox was poppin'. We were both very drunk. Erny was driving and all of a sudden we notice a cop flagged us down. We both panicked and I was squeezing the fu*k out of Ernys hand thinking.....SHIT HE IS GETTING A DUI!!! The cop asked if we had been drinking and Erny just told them he was taking me home. I then started to talk loudly to Erny about being very thankful he had picked me up because who knows what could of happened. Pretending to had been in an awkward situation with a guy and Erny came to the rescue. The cops saw me and apparently felt horrible. They gave Erny back his papers and said " Take her home." At that moment my heart began pounding like you have no idea. We both could not believe the cops did not do any DUI tests etc. I pressed Ernys hand very very hard. The cops left and we both were amazed. My acting skills were pretty sweet.

Rule #1 to get away from cops is..... Always have a good excuse when ever you get in the car. Have a back up plan of what to say if you get pulled over for speeding, etc.
Some lies I think about before getting behind the wheel is : I was being chased and I was very scared. Then you go off and describe some car and say thank you to the cop. "Thank you so much officer. I feel safe now. " Of course the cop is not going to give you a ticket after that story. :)

Another lie : "I'm sorry officer but I am freaking out. I just found out im pregnant and I don't know what to do. " This could work as in - Preggo or some disease. lol. Cops will let you go.

Any lie that makes a man cop very uncomfortable works.

Also.... If someone preferably a man is checking your purse and what not and you want to hide something...... Stick a lot of tampons and pads etc....A man will not touch ur pads or tampons. This trick has worked multiple times.... minus the times females search my purse. Those bichezzz don't care.

Hope my advice works. Pigs will be pigs.... Just find a way around them.